Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Riding the Natural High

I like to make a terribly unfunny joke comparing running to bipolar disease and it is not only unfunny but insensitive and it isn't like I really know anyway but I stand behind it in the most wishy washy way possible. What I mean is that some days running is just AWFUL. Your legs feel tired and heavy. You can't get a rhythm. Your favorite treadmill is taken or maybe it is raining. Running is just an asshole and some days are just like that. There is a weird achievement in overcoming that and running anyway I guess and I am never exactly SORRY that I ran. But occasionally a workout puts me in this frame of mind that my goals are unachievable and why am I doing this and I've made no progress and DIE RUNNING DIE. They don't happen all the time but in a training cycle you know you are going to have a couple. At the end you might have a couple in a row.

The flip side is that occasionally, sadly more rarely than asshole days but still they happen, you have a great run. Nothing is different - maybe you don't run faster than normal but it feels easier. That change in your stride you are working on just feels good and natural today. Your play list hits every song just when you need it. The sun is shining but you aren't hot and your outfit looks good but is also functional. And you just fucking NAIL THAT WORKOUT.

The result is that you feel like you are making progress! You are a real runner! Your pants feel looser and your calves look defined and you are going to kick ass at that goal race. You are all over this!

The difference in these two runs? May be like ten seconds of actual time. But a good one sets you up all day (best payoff of being a morning runner, I just had a tremendous day today I swear my kids were even cuter and better behaved).

Most runs are between this, they have good things and bad. You will always have miles full of doubts and miles full of joy. The bad runs harden your resolve, they make you hungry to prove that dark place wrong. The good runs are like a drug you can't shake. That feeling hits all sorts of buttons of achievement and natural chemicals.

I had a great run this morning. I hit my paces. I felt great. My feet felt light and my turnover was strong. My legs got tired but I could push through it. Yes, I white knuckled the last quarter mile but I was smiling while I hung on for dear life.

This weekend I was despairing about my half marathon - worrying that maybe I couldn't come back from having a baby. Maybe it was too hard for me. Now I feel refreshed in that goal. I don't have a time goal I have a finish smiling and feel great about my training goal.

And a secret time goal, I can't help myself.

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