Friday, April 11, 2014

Letting Go

The last month has been a damn training disaster. JR has had two surgeries - injuries and nothing life threatening but it means he can't do any child care or household work. I started a new job. The baby is teething. It is . . just a lot.

I often am smug about how you make time for what is most important to you and I think that is largely true. But when your life explodes even the important things fall apart. I haven't honored my training program - not one bit - and my race is in a month.

I am starting to panic.

Though I keep saying this is my comeback race and I just want to finish the truth is I was planning to PR. And I was planning to PR by a LOT. This sounds crazy because the baby is not even seven months old and I didn't run while pregnant and I had a c-section. But the truth is my Half PR is actually pretty slow even for pokey me. I did both races within three weeks of each other and I was undertrained. So while I am incredibly proud of those finishes and I feel like they are achievements I wanted a faster time. And I had this weird plan to just crush my PR and act surprised.

That is not going to happen now.

Now I am back in the realm of struggling to finish. I don't feel strong. My legs and core are just not quite where they should be yet. Four weeks is not a lot of time to get into that place. It is more than possible that I will finish slower than I did before.

In the big scheme of things this does not matter at all. I will finish. It is my comeback! But it is still hard to let that dream go.

1 comment:

  1. You will do great, even though... I know exactly how you feel. This training cycle has not been my favorite, to say the least.

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